Michael Jackson Jokes

Michael Jackson Jokes

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Bedtime at Neverland

Q: When is bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Michael Jackson Burger

Have you heard about the new Michael Jackson burger?
It's a slab of meat between two small white buns.

Michael Jackson is Baaad!

Q: Why does Michael Jackson think he's tough?
A: He can lick any kid on the block.

Michael Jackson and the Xbox

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Xbox have in common?
A: They're made of plastic and little boys turn them on.

Michael Gets Mooned

Q: What did Michael Jackson start singing when a little boy mooned him?
A: "I'll be there."

Differences, Differences

Q: What's the difference between a plastic grocery bag and Michael Jackson?
A: One is white and made of plastic, the other carries groceries.

Q: What's the difference between Casper the Ghost and Michael Jackson?
A: One is white and scares kids, the other is a friendly ghost.

Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: One was the first man to land on the moon, the other fucks boys.

Q: What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A: Acne doesn't come on your face until puberty.

Michael Jackson Gets Food Poisoning

Q: How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: From eating 8-year-old wieners.

Michael Jackson's Boyfriends

Q: Why does Michael Jackson prefer twenty eight year old boyfriends?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Baby Dangling

Q: Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over the balcony?
A: Because he heard his wife ask someone to drop the boy off a few stories.

Michael Jackson on The Dating Game

Michael Jackson: Bachelorette #1, are you white?

Bachelorette #1: No, I'm not. I'm—

Michael Jackson: Bachelorettes #2 and 3, are you white?

Bachelorettes #2 & #3: Yes.

Michael Jackson: This question is for bachelorettes number 2 and 3. My ideal date would be for you to get impregnated by a beautiful white man, and then nine months later for me to take the baby to my Neverland Ranch as soon as it's born. And then me and the baby would never see you again for the rest of our lives.
What's the ideal amount of money it would take for you to go out on a date with me?